That Time of the Year

By Rory McClannahan

Who at this season does not feel impressed with a sentiment of melancholy?

I’d never heard of Archibald Alison until I read that quote above about autumn about five minutes ago. A quick Wikipedia search tells me he was a Scottish historian. All I can say is that I’m not at all surprised that a Scot had written that about this season, for it seems that all Scots seem to have a touch of melancholy about them, even on their happiest days.

I only say this because I have a few Scottish forefathers and I tend to have a touch of melancholy when the leaves start to change colors. And although the autumn brings melancholy, it is still my favorite of the seasons. I like the air in the fall, the crispness in the morning and clarity on most days. I like sitting outside by a fire swapping stories with friends. I like the different colors on the trees and the startling contrast of a stand of aspens in full yellow.

I will say that I’m not easily swayed by the commercial aspects of autumn. Yeah, I’m looking at you pumpkin spice. However, all of that is not as gaudy as the coming holiday season.

What I like most, though, is that things happen in the fall. Of all the important dates in my life, many of them are marked from September through November. My oldest son was born in early September. My youngest son was born in the middle of October. I asked my ex to marry me in October and our divorce was finalized in November. I entered the Air Force in October. A year before that in the same month, I had an accident in which I broke both wrists and did extensive damage to my knee.

My mom died 26 years ago on October 25, a week before her 58^th birthday. My dad died three years ago on November 7.

So, yeah. I get a little down when the middle of October rolls around. While Memorial Day is in May, I tend to choose this time of year to get a little sentimental. This year has also been challenging to anyone who would like to live life with a smile on their face. War is never easy to think about, and politics is even more depressing. The actors are out on strike still, so there won’t be any new TV shows anytime soon, other than reality shows. (Ugh!)

On a personal level, one friend just got a cancer diagnosis and another lost her love to the same kind of tumor that took my mother too young. Another friend has been a caregiver for more than 10 years and is facing its finality.

All of that sometimes makes it difficult to jot down a few words in an attempt to make a dozen or so regular readers chuckle. Being amusing in the face of constant trauma isn’t an easy thing.

Because of that, I have been writing down the things that put a smile on my face. I suppose it’s a way to remind me that the world has been and always will be shit if we let it. I’m not a half-full/half-empty kind of guy. I strive to be someone who looks for beauty and happiness around me, no matter how simple or trite it might seem. I hang onto those little things that bring me joy. I love the things that amuse me and hold them in my thoughts to get me through the hard times.

Down the road from where I live is a five-acre lot with a large barn and five German shepherds. They are beautiful dogs and they run to the fence and bark at me when I come by on my daily walk. I say hello and that has no effect on them. I don’t blame them, they are just doing their job.

One of the dogs, a female, is older than the others. I assume she is their mother. And even though she gets around okay, she’s a little slower and her head is permanently tilted a bit to the left. I know it’s probably because of some medical condition, but I still smile at her head held as in some sort of permanent comical curiosity and knowing that she would bite me given half a chance.

I like the quick chats I have with a cashier at the grocery store, which we’ve been having for more than 20 years. Our conversations never last more than a couple of minutes and are usually about as banal as you would imagine, but he helps me by taking off the plastic security device on the bottles of booze I get and gives me an extra credit or two on my reusable bags.

I like being with my sons because they always make me laugh and I like being with Robyn because she always makes me think and puts up with my stupid jokes, and my sometimes thoughtless comments.

I like watching the squirrel who lives under my shed shimmy up the pole to the bird feeder. I know I should discourage this sort of behavior, but I admire tenacity whenever I witness it. Even more so when that tenacity results in success.

I love watching the sun come up in the little valley where I live and the crows talking to each other.

I love the autumn, even though it usually comes with a mild case of melancholy. Even though we all have a hard time smiling through melancholy, I appreciate that it is there to remind me that sometimes bad things do happen. If we don’t feel bad from time to time, we might get the idea that those things that make us happy have no value.

And that, my friends, would be a truly terrible thing.